Do you have a spare P350,000? The Internet, apparently, is for sale for that amount.

I regularly read the classified ads section of Sun.Star Cebu, the paper I work for. At any given day, you’d have people selling anything from pets, houses, power tools to second-hand vehicles to adult toys (under Various Items, together with “Injectable Testosterone for male menopauseâ€?).

Sunday is the best day to read the classified section. Sun.Star Cebu averages a hundred pages on Sundays, with the classified ads section accounting for half of these. Looking for a boarding house in Cebu? You can find a lot of advertisements there for boarding houses. Looking for a job in Cebu? On a Sunday, many companies put out full-page advertisements listing their job vacancies.

Classified ads are billed by the column inch so you often see ad copy abbreviated. And so you have massage services promising “good quality srcs. w/guartd 2tal satsfction young M/F exprt thrpst.â€? One says they have “cuteboy & pinayâ€? for home and hotel service. There’s also the “NONSURGâ€? services for face-lifts, mole removals, and get this: “earhole repair.â€?

But this ad takes the cake:

Most likely the advertiser meant Internet cafe. But if you think he or she is really selling the Internet 🙂 and you want your piece of the action, send me an e-mail and I’ll give you the contact numbers.